In the book, I connected with the time out spot in the classroom. It is very true that when our animal instincts are in full force, our thinking and logic portion of our brain is being overpowered by the instinct to strike or run. Giving the student some time to cool off may just be the thing needed to avoid a confrontation or escalation.
I have over the years used the evil eye, moving in on the student, proximity, eye contact and “no” head-shake, changing location. I am ready to try Can you save that? Thanks. I can think back to a student or two where this might have worked. I will have to keep it in mind. I think it is a good way to tell lthe student you are OK, but your behavior is not. I need to remember to end the remark with a smile and avoid power struggle.
I really want to use more empathetic statements. I don't think I have issues of self-control or yelling or temper, but at the same time, as I am good about control, it is not as easy to be expressive and verbal as to show more concern, pride, care.
I also, want to strive to share the thinking and control. I notice that sometimes when the students are in trouble that I do most of the talking. Even at home, sometimes you are doing all the lecturing while your child is not registering anything but "yada yada yada". I like the techniques and one-liners to use to not engage in a power struggle. I really do enjoy using something new, something that challenges your mind as well as others, and can't wait to see what this year has in store for my students as well as my children. I hope my child's teacher has come to the same conclusions!
I have been using choices and "I'm so sorry you are having difficulty with that" type statements. I have shown empathy with the child who can't stop dancing during a fire drill, "providing dancing time" during recess. I have not gotten into power struggles with the students that perserverate, but give them choices and restating, then saying, "I'm so sorry you are making the choice not to be with us" as they meander back to their desks. I like the results. =)
I want to keep the new L&L ideas in front of me at all times. Perhaps a sticky note left on my desk as a reminder. As I said earlier, when a situation occurs, it is so natural to slip back into my old ways. I am trying to be more empathetic, using the " I'm sorry" statements.
I find myself still doing most of the talking and thinking when a disturbance arises. I will try to provide a time out to think it over, so the child will actually learn something from their choice of behaviors.
Last of all, I can't wait to see the response that I get when I whisper, " Would you please save that for Mrs. Doan's class!"
I have also been trying to be more empathetic but as Beth said it is so easy to slip back into old habits. I like her idea of putting a sticky note with a 1 liner on it on my table or clipboard as a reminder. So my goals for the rest of this year is to use the "I'm so sorry. . ." or "That must be really hard. . ." I would also like to try using the "let's talk about this later" line and meeting with the student after school or during recess. But I think the 1 thing that I want to try the most is after making the comment and even before getting to the 1 liner using smiles. I have a particular student in mind and will let you know how it goes.
5 comments:
In the book, I connected with the time out spot in the classroom. It is very true that when our animal instincts are in full force, our thinking and logic portion of our brain is being overpowered by the instinct to strike or run. Giving the student some time to cool off may just be the thing needed to avoid a confrontation or escalation.
I have over the years used the evil eye, moving in on the student, proximity, eye contact and “no” head-shake, changing location. I am ready to try Can you save that? Thanks. I can think back to a student or two where this might have worked. I will have to keep it in mind. I think it is a good way to tell lthe student you are OK, but your behavior is not. I need to remember to end the remark with a smile and avoid power struggle.
I really want to use more empathetic statements. I don't think I have issues of self-control or yelling or temper, but at the same time, as I am good about control, it is not as easy to be expressive and verbal as to show more concern, pride, care.
I also, want to strive to share the thinking and control. I notice that sometimes when the students are in trouble that I do most of the talking. Even at home, sometimes you are doing all the lecturing while your child is not registering anything but "yada yada yada". I like the techniques and one-liners to use to not engage in a power struggle.
I really do enjoy using something new, something that challenges your mind as well as others, and can't wait to see what this year has in store for my students as well as my children. I hope my child's teacher has come to the same conclusions!
I have been using choices and "I'm so sorry you are having difficulty with that" type statements. I have shown empathy with the child who can't stop dancing during a fire drill, "providing dancing time" during recess. I have not gotten into power struggles with the students that perserverate, but give them choices and restating, then saying, "I'm so sorry you are making the choice not to be with us" as they meander back to their desks. I like the results. =)
I want to keep the new L&L ideas in front of me at all times. Perhaps a sticky note left on my desk as a reminder. As I said earlier, when a situation occurs, it is so natural to slip back into my old ways. I am trying to be more empathetic, using the " I'm sorry" statements.
I find myself still doing most of the talking and thinking when a disturbance arises. I will try to provide a time out to think it over, so the child will actually learn something from their choice of behaviors.
Last of all, I can't wait to see the response that I get when I whisper, " Would you please save that for Mrs. Doan's class!"
I have also been trying to be more empathetic but as Beth said it is so easy to slip back into old habits. I like her idea of putting a sticky note with a 1 liner on it on my table or clipboard as a reminder. So my goals for the rest of this year is to use the "I'm so sorry. . ." or "That must be really hard. . ." I would also like to try using the "let's talk about this later" line and meeting with the student after school or during recess. But I think the 1 thing that I want to try the most is after making the comment and even before getting to the 1 liner using smiles. I have a particular student in mind and will let you know how it goes.
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